Live the Questions

Six weeks in, or something like that. I am loving these interviews; I am learning, laughing, and listening. This is what I do best. Tell me about you.

I have to laugh at myself when I look around and notice all the ways I have become so pro at focusing outward, at holding my heart at arms length, ready to feel for the whole world. Anything to distract from feeling me.

I salute and high-five all of the folks who find ways to sit in their own spotlight and feel what they're feeling. This takes courage. Wisdom happens when the head and the heart meet. I am getting there, slow and steady.

My dog is helping me meet my own tenderness; so is this,

be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not seek now the answers, which can not be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. 

Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer. 

- Rainer Maria Rilke, 1903 (Letters to a Young Poet)

Meg on Life as a Starving Artist

1 - Tell me three things about yourself aside from being an artist.

- I am militant in the kitchen. Look out!
- People often comment on the way I dish wash. My mother taught me well.
- I am a neat freak (except in the darkroom, the one place where tidiness is imperative!). What gives.

2 - What is it about your life right now that quantifies you being a starving artist?

Well, I am currently working my way through the dry stock in my pantry if that says anything and not eating as many breakfasts out as I'd please. Trying to make lentils exciting on a weekly basis. I am hungry, but not nearly starving. In the metaphorical sense, I am in a place of limbo--hungry for something, but not quite sure which direction to choose as far as a career is concerned. Spinning dial. There is also a freedom to be very grateful for within that place. For now I am working my way back into the folds of the art community which is terribly exciting.

3 - What are your first memories of doing art (of any kind)? What did art mean to you back then?

I first realized a talent for drawing in Mrs. Calleran's grade three classroom. It was a finished McCaw parrot done up in chalk that affirmed something quietly growing within. As a kid I used to steal chalk out of the boxes in the sunday school supply room on the regular. Can't resist the stuff. Fooling around with paper has always given me confidence in sensitive times.

4 - What sort of art are you doing lately?

Stencils. Big 'ol stencils. My sister found the missing piece to my working studio a few weeks back in Niverville: an overhead projector! It has sent me flying. I take a drawing done up in india ink on a transparency sheet, project it and pencil in the stencil on good cardstock masked together as big as necessary. Carve it out in stages at the light table (precision cutting on glass is imperative for efficiency), put it up with spray adhesive. Black spray paint to fill. Peel it off. Fabric is my latest muse. Muslin mostly with finished weft and raw warp. The finished stencil work looks good hanging from three points. Simple. The stencil courtship has only just begun. Next I plan to add color to these fabric wall hangings with silk screen ink. The idea of printing large format is exciting; something I have never done before.
Photography is an ongoing process; the imagery never lessens. There are always photos to take, prints to make. I am trying to update my photo binder by making a habit of printing contact sheets for each new roll that comes in. It is not daunting if you stay on top of it. 

I don't really illustrate much these days, the stencils take up most of my free time. No complaints there as it feels good to be onto something.

5 - Who or what inspires you these days?

Sitting by the Red River at Anabella inspires me. It's a good Winnipeg vantage point. Same goes for the amazing pink Victorian house at the dead end there, it's a real beauty. If I need inspiration or solace I head there on my bicycle. The intersection at Salter and Selkirk offers an endless stream of photo opportunity. Selkirk is an amazing street that I have gotten to know since moving to Point Douglas. Stigmas be gone. I learned quick to carry cigarettes when I go looking for portraits. For general get-out-of-a-rut inspiration I go hunting for antiques at various places in the city or just get out of town entirely. The basement at Martha Street studio inspires me to get down to biz, without fail. A good moped ride clears the head right out. BRAIN BREAK. Those are important to any practice.

Fearlessness, kindness and confidence are attractive qualities in people. 

6 - Do you have a favorite work of art (of yours) or a favorite medium of all time?

In terms of personal photography work, my favorite photo to date is a 35mm color shot of a man named James Tabaras and his father sitting on a bench on Fairmount Avenue in Montreal. It's a simple photo with muted colors and no background distraction but very strong subjectively. Ca va/ It goes. That photo alone has taught me quite a bit about life and the art of the approach. I prefer to shoot medium format over 35mm; mainly because 120 film offers only twelve exposures per roll. I have become much better at exacting the Decisive Moment, as late photography great Henri Cartier-Bresson calls it. This is essentially the instant where the eye and the mind connect and the moment reveals itself. Geometric balance (I hope this doesn't read pretentious, it's just how I shoot: always looking for that line). I don't waste film anymore. Blasting through 36 exposures feels like a lifetime!
The work of painter Modigliani is powerful. Maira Kalman's illustration work with gouache paint just kills me. She's good. My favorite photographers include Henri Cartier-Bresson, Alfred Stieglitz, ManRay, Betty Hahn, Brassai. The list is essentially endless.

I feel most at ease with either one of my cameras or an ink-loaded squeegee in my hands.

7 - Say something about how the mainstream school system impacts our creativity as kids.

It is thrilling to listen to elementary kids talk about their experiences with art class. Programs offered these days are much more advanced than what was available 15-20 years ago when I was just a squirt in the countryside school system. Maybe it's naive to say that the impact is unavoidable! It's relieving to know school systems are still teaching hands-on art. How frightening the thought of losing literal touch with art in our technologically weighted world. Just the other day I was listening to a bakery customer's kid rave about her school's pottery class. She was about ten. Kid's pottery? Cool. I am happy to know that there are still, if not better resources for kids/ teens who are hungry for it. I hope kids don't take it for granted! It was slim pickings back in my elementary day. Growing up in the country offered little to no art classes and I was astounded by the darkroom upon introduction back in grade nine. Thank god for Industrial Arts! 

8 - What do you love the most about being an artist?

I love the nights where sleep is bottom barreled because the ideas are rolling in. Exciting! The act of tying on an apron before getting covered in ink/ chemical/ spray paint/ food etc. is the best. What more is there to say? It's who I am.

9 - What is something that is difficult about being an artist?

Frustration prevails too often and momentum is lost.

10 - How has your art surprised you recently?

The latest stencil pulled off the wall affirmed this path of mine. Keep going. The surprise affirmation was excellent, but the realization of the self doubt leading up to that point took me off guard.

11 - Tell me about a great moment you've had with art lately.

Two weeks ago I shot a photo with my crapola pocket Partycam of my neighbor Duckman sitting on his stoop. Major flash. He is a Point Douglas legend and it was incredible to take the inaugural Neighborhood Portrait with such ease in the pitch darkness, just a little drunk wearing a blonde wig under a sparkly helmet. Point Douglas is some kind of wonderful to me. Be who you is Cheezwhiz. There is a boy on my street who has captured the photographer in me, hook line and sinker. His dog's name is Brian which only adds to my portrait infatuation. Dream subjects. How do you ask a kid for a portrait without losing the opportunity? Wait for it. Hope is far from lost. Those are great moments to me: watching people and learning character just by looking and eventually following through with portrait that eventually leads to friendship. James Tabaras, a crazy man who lived on my street in Montreal is exemplary of this. With time he became a regular subject and those portraits are extremely dear to me. Trust is a gift.

12 - Do you care about what people think of your art?

I appreciate constructive criticism very much. Art school feedback was too nicey-nice for me. Timid teens. Honesty is good, even when it's hard to dole or receive. Internet affirmation is weird and tricky. Is it real? Sometimes I get too wrapped up in the general reception of my work (especially in terms of exhibition) so much so that production halts. I am grateful for the people in my life who push me beyond such short sightedness. Craig for one. There is a constant struggle with internet restraint. How much is too much when it comes to posting work, writing, photos etc.? For what? For whom? Why is this important to me? Why does modern day society put so much emphasis on positive feedback? Blegh. And yet I blog and dump photo work weekly. What does that say? Contradiction alert! These questions stump me and hold me accountable in a sense.

13 - What's it like to price your art for sale?

Generally it is a strange and tricky process. Generosity battles good sense. No one likes a proud lowballer but there's no use in hoarding what could be distributed/ appreciated. I guess I am shooting for a Ray Johnsoneasque entrance to the art world. Lofty! Haha. Collect those letters once I'm gone, that's my true art. Ray Johnson was a genius! I loved his mail art approach to finally being received into the collection at the M.O.M.A. in New York. Something of mine I consider 'art' might be mistaken for a giant dust rag by someone else. I don't know. I need a proper website, let the people be the judge!

14 - How does art seep into other non-arty aspects of your life?

It comes out through letter writing, wild cooking, chalkboards/ sandwich boards, the clothes I throw on in the morning, soupmaking, homemaking. Bed making! My bed looks like a cake. Seasonal switcheroos. I can't resist accumulating wooden furniture. That's an art! Interior design makes me tick. Reworking space. Black space, white space. Lines lines lines! It's in me alright.

15 - What are you most proud of, in terms of your art career?

I am really proud of Hogwash, a recent experimental exhibition put on by Craig Dueck and myself. Hand crafted photographs printed in tandem in a basement on Victor Street. I learned so freakin much that week leading up to the vernissage at Le Taudis on Selkirk Avenue back in February. Hyper learning. I am proud of that experience and look forward to the next exhibition. We are thinking some sort of projection show. Black and white slides? Something worth sitting down for, walking through. I like the thought of portraits projected on bodies moving through a room. Who knows. Art school is not a prerequisite in this arts community. That I like.

16 - How has art changed in the age of iPhones and Instagram?

Radically. This one is a tricky subject. My name is attached to both those items up for debate and I struggle with my involvement with Instagram weekly.  The iPhone is radical no less. Everything is instant, yes. Where is the craft in that? In the digital instant? Impossible. What about tactile quality? Kinesthetic appreciation? Is looking different from touching when it comes to Art? These things are important to the integrity of my work. Hands on. Hands up. Je sais pas. The concept of hashtagging/ latergram or whatever and the implication of tagging something posthaste past is boggling to me. What are we doing?? For what purpose is it other than instant gratification? And yet. I dip in. Its light and addictive. And frightening. I hope to practice traditional photography for as long as possible. Sign off and step out people. We must not forget that the introduction of photography at the time of Industrial Revolution was considered a radical idea but once the fuss leveled out and understanding became mainstream, society was forever changed. Who knows. The future is now. 

The internet is intense. I prefer the darkroom. 

17 - Say something about originality in art vs. "everything has been done before".

It's what you make it.

18 - What's in your toolbox?

- General tools: ink and quill, envelopes, type writer, inky pens, stamps, good shears, paper cutter, T pins.

- Photo work: big into Ilford FP4 120 contrast film right now. Printing paper and processing chemicals by Illford usually. HOT Water. The cameras close at hand: Nikon F3 for life and that Russian beast, Kiev 60. 50mm and 80mm lenses for portrait vision. Flash and bracket. 

- Stencils: overhead projector, leather apron, Olfa knives, a beater light table handed down from my Greek photography guru in Montreal, Zoi Kilakos. Pencils, transparency sheets. Spray adhesive and Krylon paint. 

- Silkscreen: print apron, good cardstock, imagination.

19 - What are some of your dreams for your future with art?

My career path is not yet lit up but I make something everyday no matter what even if it's as simple as setting the table for dinner or drawing a nice triangle on the chalkboard in my kitchen. I dream of an art practice that continues into old age. Art teacher Meg. I see that. School is daunting and I am not ready to dip in just yet. I predict some sort of Alternative Teaching in the near future. There was a window of time when I had the pleasure of teaching a very simple stencil-based silk screen workshop at various schools in rural Manitoba. It was primitive but we had fun. 

Writing, I see that too. Pure dictation at the very end if nothing else. I'll direct my grandchildren to fire the camera from my lap if my hands give out.

20 - At the end of your life, how might being an artist have made a difference for you?

I hope my passion for quality production continues well into old age in whatever form or medium possible. May community remain important and the integrity of my work true. At the very least, my stories will be entertaining as hell. 

Amanda on Yoga

1 - Tell me 3 things about yourself aside from being someone who practices yoga.

• I’m in crazy love with my dog (and yours.)

• I love to figure out how to make things.

• I don’t like it when my feet are dirty and can’t even wear flipflops practically.  (I know that’s not that interesting, but you asked.)

2 – How do you describe the kind of yoga you practice?

Compassionate and challenging.  But usually in the opposite order.

3 –When did you begin your life with yoga?

Most intensely when i lived in the mountains and realized that snowboarding its reckless abandon was not my favourite thing; that the abandon of yoga was more my speed/element.  And that my personal challenge is to put my feet (or my head or heart) on the ground.

4 – How did you come to have yoga as such a big part of your life?

Necessity and love.  I had this ache in my neck and this bigger ache in my heart.  I didn’t especially like the yoga at the time and I didn’t know why, but the aches began to unravel and felt lighter/better with yoga practice.  So i kept on.  And then a new ache would come and a new unravelling and then i kept on keeping on.

5 – How has your yoga practice changed over time?

It has changed because i have changed.  I’m nicer now.  So my yoga practice is kinder too- and more patient.  And i’ve learned how to listen to things that are subtle, so my yoga practice feels more tuned in.  This just means that I can sometimes figure out what is best for me rather than what i think i want to do.  Oh!  And playful.  Yoga is not serious business.

6 – Tell me about a great moment you’ve had with yoga recently.

This one time, yesterday, i was in savasana. 

7 - What do you love about yoga?

The earth under my feet.  It’s such a relief to find it there!  And the soul that I am.  It’s such a relief to find it there!

8 - What are some difficult parts of having a yoga practice?

Yoga is not easy:)  Every single time my ego struggles with my soul to get on the mat.  I don’t know if this is typical, but it would always be easier to do something else.

9 – How has yoga surprised you?

That it waits for you to come to it.  And then sometimes, as amazing yoga teacher Vanda Scaravelli said: ‘yoga itself will pull you up by the hair and make you do it.’  It was a bit of a surprise how despite potential inconsistencies in our practice, it is always there.  I didn’t know it would take on a life of its own in me.

10 – Do you prefer to practice alone, or in a group setting?

I like to do both.  I’m an introvert through and through, so alone-practice is a balm for my quiet soul.  However, hanging out with people when there are no words is pretty precious too.   It’s such a nice way to connect, yoga is.

11 - Who has been the most supportive of your path into yoga?

The people who come to my classes, who, no matter what, show up and give me another reason to keep doing it. 

And least supportive are the animals who live in my house who climb all over me while i practice. 

12 - How long have you being teaching?

For 9 years maybe?

13 - What is the best part about being a yoga instructor?

• Your uniform being yoga clothing. 

• The office being a yoga room, or a meeting room turned into a yoga room, or backyard turned into a yoga room, (etc...) 

• The worst day ever ending in a yoga class and having your day melt into sweetness when you see people settle into child’s pose or savasana or their hearts fall open in a backbend.

14 - What sort of teacher would you describe yourself as? 

Attentive.  And I hope, more than anything, with ego left outside.

15 - Yoga has become mainstream in North America. How does the majority of yoga practiced here compare with how yoga is practiced in India.

At first, i wondered if we were kind of frauds over here, doing this ancient practice without the essence of it, since we aren’t (i’m not, at least) hindu. 

When I was in india, i searched everywhere for yoga.  The people there just looked at me blankly or wondered why i would do yoga at all.  It seems, for the most part (I know this isn’t universal, just much more widespread than i had expected), to have fallen out of their mainstream.  I am happy that we have picked it up and grown it over here now.  I feel proud of what we have done to add juice to the practice and that so many do it so much.

16 - Is yoga for everyone? 

Every-one. 

17 - If your yoga practice could talk, how would it say it finds you as its practitioner? 

It would probably say, thank you for your consistency.  It might also tell me to smile.

18 – Describe the perfect setting for a great yoga practice.

Anywhere.  Airports especially, planes (where i need it the most), not outside.  I don’t like outside yoga and the sharp sun.  Small, empty spaces are the best for me.  Boring ones, especially, where there’s no excuse and no distraction.  I had to move my yoga room at home to the basement, which is little and quiet and empty because I am so distractable.

19- What have you learned about yourself through your yoga practice? 

That I can be patient, though i’m not always, and that I am playful,

though i often forget, and that I am a soul.  And also that ritual makes my world go ‘round.

20 - At the end of your life, how might your yoga practice have made a difference for you?

Yoga will carry me out of this world, i hope, gracefully and supportively.  And also i will be a nicer person than if there was no yoga.

Cindy on Rabbits

1 - Tell me 3 things about yourself outside of having bunnies.

I love long distance running.

I just got back from hiking in the Great Canadian Rockies, and I am increasingly interesting in taking up rock climbing.

I love a good glass of whiskey.

2 – Who are your bunnies?

We have two bunnies. Furhead is a 9-month-old lionhead, and Ernie is a 2-year-old mix of silver marten and otter, I think. I am not totally sure about Ernie’s breed actually because we adopted him from a local animal shelter.

3 – How long have you had them?

We have had Furhead since November 2011 and Ernie since March 2012

4 – What are they like?

Furhead is a very sweet, cheerful, good-natured, and laid-back rabbit. Ernie is very bossy, demanding, and moody. They are SO different.

5 - Tell me about a great moment you’ve had with them recently. 

My partner and I just got back from five days of hiking in the mountains, and it was so great to come home to these two and hangout with them again. We both missed them a lot while we were away.

6 - How did you come to have bunnies in your life?

I read the book Watership Down last summer. I thought it was the most profound story, and so magical. I really loved the rabbits and I decided I wanted to have some rabbit magic in my own life, so I began to seriously consider getting one as a pet. I spent a long time doing research about rabbits before getting one – there is actually quite a lot to learn about having rabbits as pets, which was kind of surprising. They are not low maintenance animals like most people think. I got Furhead first, last November when he was just six-weeks-old and he could fit in my hands, and then we adopted Ernie from the Winnipeg Humane Society last March. I went there for a volunteer orientation session, and left with a rabbit. We got Ernie to be a partner for Furhead, but that hasn’t worked out just yet. Ernie is very aggressive, so we have to take the process very slowly.

7 - What do you love about these bunnies?

I love them because they are both so different in terms of their personality – Furhead is such a sweetheart and Ernie is such a badass. I love them because they are really fun to hangout with and I am never bored when I am in their company. I love them because they have caused me to make some very serious changes in my life and I am really grateful for that. Also, they are just so cute.

8 – What are some of the difficult parts of having bunnies as pets?

They are very destructive animals and they love to eat our walls, shoes, clothes, furniture, books….pretty much anything they can get their teeth on. Also, they are super bratty sometimes. They can be very naughty animals. If rabbits are not spayed or neutered, they basically go crazy as soon as they reach sexual maturity. (Both our rabbits are neutered, ha)

9 – Have either of your bunnies surprised you lately?

Furhead has chosen some weird sleeping places/positions lately. He likes to sleep with his head inside of his cardboard house with his butt sticking out – it’s almost as though he has the mentality of “if I can’t see you, you can’t see me.” It’s super funny. Also, the extent to which Ernie and my partner, Mark, have become close was initially somewhat surprising, but also really wonderful. Ernie seems to love Mark the most out of anyone. They are bros. It’s really nice.

10 - How have your family and friends responded to you having pet bunnies?

For the most part they’ve been great and very supportive. They know it’s important to me and they’ve responded accordingly. I think there are some who don’t get it, and that’s okay.

11 - Who of your friends and family are the most into them?

Most of my friends are pretty into it, actually. I have really nice and supportive friends.

12 - Do you come across people who are a bit funny about you having bunnies?

Yes, sometimes. People think it’s funny to make jokes about eating rabbits, or they like to tell me about how they ate a rabbit and that bothers me. I don’t want to hear about that. I know it happens but to make a point of telling me a story about how you did it – that’s really insensitive.

13 - What is the best part about having bunnies?

Bunny kisses, binkies, the sound they make when they eat a banana, and big huge bunny feet.

14 - What sort of bunny owner would you describe yourself as?

I am exceedingly responsible, attentive, very loving, and very affectionate. And I probably worry about them more than I need to. Mark says I have developed a ‘bunny voice’, which I use when I talk to either of them, so, I’m one of those people.

15 - If your bunnies could talk, how would they say they feel about you?

I think Furhead would say that I am the greatest bunny mom ever and he really loves me the most. I think Ernie would say that he thinks I am over-bearing and that I need to chill out. They would also both say: “quit moving my stuff and leave my poops alone.” Rabbits hate when you move their stuff and get really protective of their poops so that probably really annoys them and I’m sure they’d have words about that.

 16 - Describe a day in the life of your bunnies.

Both bunnies wake up before I do. Ernie’s room is basically right outside our bedroom door, so he is sure to wake me up as soon as he is hungry. Both rabbits get breakfast, sometimes as early as 5am. They both get some pellets, fresh veggies, and timothy hay. They are usually pretty active for most of the morning, which involves lots of running around and playing. They each have cardboard houses to hang out in, and lots of toys to chew on and throw around. They both typically sleep from around 1pm until about 10pm. It’s really cute because they each go to their specific place when it’s time for bed – Furhead goes to the second floor of his cardboard castle, and Ernie’s favorite place is under the tub. They will wake up every so often to eat and poop and then will go back to sleep. They get lots of attention from my boyfriend and I whenever they are awake. They are pretty spoiled animals.

17 - How do you feel about dogs and cats as pets, as compared to your bunnies?

I am not a cat person. I used to be, but I don’t really like cats that much anymore. I do love dogs though and hope to have one, or ten, someday soon.

18 - What have you learned about yourself from owning bunnies?

I’ve learned that I have a much more nurturing spirit than I was aware of. I’ve learned that it doesn’t bother me to touch rabbit poop. That was a bit surprising, honestly.

19 -  What have you learned about life in general from your bunnies?

I guess I already knew this, but through these rabbits I’ve really observed firsthand that how you treat an animal has such a big impact on how its personality will turn out. As I mentioned, Furhead is very good-natured and laid back. This is because I’ve had him since he was six-weeks-old and I was sure to handle him a lot right from the start and be really good to him all of the time. He has a very nice life with us, and he’s a very cheerful rabbit. Ernie, on the other hand, came from an animal shelter when he was already two years old, so it’s really hard to know what his life was like before coming to live with us. I suspect that he probably spent a lot of time alone in a cage, or in stressful situations. Two years of being moved around from home to home is really hard on a rabbit, and this has caused him to have some behavior issues. He hasn’t had any stability until he came to live with us. We’ve done lots of work with him though, and he’s a lot better now than he was when he first came to live with us. Because of having to work with Ernie in a way that helped him to learn to trust us, I’ve learned about an extended sort of kindness and empathy, and also patience. I can apply this learning to all aspects of my life.

20 - At the end of your life, how might these bunnies have made a difference for you?

Because of these rabbits, I have done a lot of research into animal testing and what happens to animals during this process. Rabbits are one of the most commonly used animals for laboratory testing, whether it’s for cosmetics or household products, etc. The lives these animals live is so, so awful. It’s extremely upsetting. Because of this, our household has changed most of the products we use to be cruelty-free. Further, I began to take animal welfare in general more seriously and have changed my diet to be largely vegan (except I am having a really hard time giving up cheese and I really love a good ceasar). I also now volunteer at a local animal shelter working with surrendered rabbits – this has been such a fascinating and rewarding experience. I know that my rabbits are not people and cannot form opinions about me as a person, but if they could I would want them to be proud of the kind of person I am as their mom. I know that probably makes me sound a bit crazy, but that’s okay. I would say they’ve made a very significant difference in my life.