Whether she's whipping up a massive batch of salsa while doing a craft with her kids, riding her bike to work in -40C weather after catching her son's hockey game, or carrying a new hot water heater into her house by herself, she'll do it with poise and grace, and won't utter a complaint. She's always been that way, my sister Kate. She's tough as nails, and effortlessly gorgeous. If I didn't love her so much I might hate her :)
1.
Tell
me three things about yourself besides anything to do with work or your kids!
I have completed 3 half marathons.
Music is a very important part of
my life.
I lost my brother in 1994 and my
mom in 2010 their lives and deaths have played a huge part in who I am today.
2.
Who
is in your family?
My partner Jay
Alexander Thomas -13
Sativa Lael – 12
Isabella Jinx – 5
Romeo James
- 3
J and I also have amazing extended
families that we are so thankful for
and
are part of our everyday lives.
3.
Can
you remember life when it was just you and Alex? What was that like?
It’s strange how long ago that
feels! Alex was 6 when J and I met and I was a single mom and full time
student. We used to spend a lot more time 1 on 1 and Alex also spent a lot of
time with my parents while I studied. It’s been an incredible adjustment as our
family has tripled in size since then.
When I asked Alex he said, “It
was a lot more relaxing back then!” And the other day I heard him comment, “Our
family even sticks out in Walmart!” Things aren’t quite so calm and quiet
anymore!
4.
How
did you meet Jay and how did you know you wanted to grow your family with him?
Alex and Tiva were in the same class in
grade one. J and I used to see each other in the hall everyday while we waited
for them to be let out of class. We slowly got to know each other and
eventually started hanging out outside of school.
J and Tiva invited Alex and I over for
dinner (our first “date”) they made homemade pizza pops for us (Tiva had
investigated what Alex’s favorite food was!) We had a great evening that ended
with us playing Yahtzee in a fort in the living room, I was pretty much melted
from there! We eventually had a few dates without the kids and realized we were
both interested in expanding our families. J has an amazing outlook on life,
the way he loves and cares for his kids is amazing and inspiring. He is
committed to growing good, strong, solid people out of these little ones and I
am so thankful for a partner with his morals and values to raise my kids with.
5.
Tell
me some great things about your family.
J is the most hilarious person I know!
He is always up for an adventure he is an amazing papa and my best friend.
Alex was born year of the Dragon, he
became a teenager this year, started junior high and was also the captain of
his hockey team, the Deer Lodge Blues. He led them to 2nd place
entering the finals scoring 70 goals this season! He also plays basketball,
volleyball, table tennis, soccer, hand ball, football and can whoop my butt at
21 (sometimes)!
Tiva was born in the year of the Snake
and also started junior high this year. She is kind hearted and great with
kids. She is also an experienced ariel dancer, Pilates artist, and is amazingly
creative and a skilled crafter. She is also very involved in track at her
school and has brought home many ribbons and medals this year. Her ariel dance
crew is traveling to Calgary to compete this summer and to Finland for the 2015
Gymnestratta!
Izzy just turned 5! She was born in the
year of the Ox and is also a Taurus, she has fire in her soul and keeps us
entertained at all times. She reminds me of my mom quite often. She started pre school, gymnastics and soccer
this year and is thriving. Her teacher describes her as a real leader who likes
to makes sure to include everyone.
Romeo is my baby! He was born in the
year of the rabbit. He is an amazing
little character who is really developing and changing all the time. He has a
passion for all sports and is really very good at them! He is my snuggler and
is always up for a hug around the neck! He has recently been potty trained (hooray!)
and life is just getting easier and easier with him.
6.
What’s
something cute that one of the kids said recently?
The kids are always saying hilarious
things, I keep a journal where I write down the funny things they say. I
recently read a journal my mom kept from when we were kids, it was really inspiring
for me to keep at it.
Today Izzy asked me, “Mom, is there anyone
else in the world like us? Same hair, same clothes, same skin, same family?” I
said no, our family is one of a kind. Her excited response, “oh, so we’re
pretty rare then!”
She got a diary from her uncle Bill for her
birthday and carries it around and writes in it often. She calls it her
“diarrhea”
She asked me the other day why we named her
Izzy, then she asked if we could change it to Barbie.
7.
What
do you love about being a mom?
I love days at home as a family when no one has to be anywhere,
spending time together, playing games, cooking dinner, making fancy desserts,
movie nights, adventures, bike rides, beach days and picnics at the park! With
our busy schedules it’s not always easy to find time to spend together as a
family so we really value it when it works out.
8.
What
do you find hardest?
We always wish we could spend
more time with our kids individually. We
try to take them out separately when possible but time is precious around here
so it never happens as often as we’d like. This has been a difficult adjustment
as we were so used to having that 1 on 1 attention with Alex and Tiva. That’s
the thing I find the most difficult over the long run, but in everyday life it’s
those days that stretch on, where I work or J works or we both work and every
kid has to be somewhere for some type of activity, everyone needs to be fed and
bathed and dishes need to be washed, laundry needs to be done and when the last
kid is finally asleep and all the toys are picked up, I’m exhausted and all I
want is a hot shower and then there’s no hot water left.
9.
What
do you do for work?
I am a registered nurse, and work
in child and adolescent psychiatry at the Health Sciences center.
10.
What
do you love about your job?
We are the
only inpatient unit in Manitoba so we get kids from all over the province as
far north as Nunavut and also from northern Ontario. Getting to know these kids
and their families as well as their cultures and communities has been an
amazing and eye opening experience for me. I love teaching and that’s a huge part of my
job with both patients and their families.
I also work
with some really great people and have built some really valuable friendships. We see a lot of kids that are in crisis and
that can lead to many different challenges.
To navigate those challenges we all lean on each other, work as a team
and use a lot of humor to make it through the day.
11.
What
do you find hardest?
A huge part of my job is to be an
advocate for an extremely vulnerable population, I often leave work feeling
like I made a difference and then other days can be so frustrating, I work
within a system that is full of obstacles and dead ends. I am learning how to
navigate those but there is not always an answer or a “cure” for everyone. There are days when I find it very hard to
leave work at work and transition back into caring for my own family.
12.
How
did you end up becoming a nurse?
I really wanted to choose a
career that would provide flexibility to be with my kids and security knowing I
would always be able to provide for my family.
When Alex was born I had the most
incredible nurse, she stayed overtime until Alex was born just to make sure
things went the way I had hoped they would. She advocated for me when I really
needed it I remember having so much respect for her and the difference she made
in the delivery.
After Alex was born I worked as a
health care aide in a personal care home for about 3 years. I loved working with seniors,
spending time with and taking care of them. I knew that being a nurse would
bring more responsibility but also provide me with security.
When I became a single mom I
applied to nursing and after a 2 year wait list Alex and I moved to the city,
he started kindergarten and I started University the next day, it was such a
stressful transition but we managed to make it through the next 4 years and I
am so thankful for that!
13.
Was
it your plan to have a big family and a big job?
Well, I was voted, “Most likely
to have 12 kids” in my grade 12 yearbook! I have always loved kids and never
imagined life without a brood behind me.
I never imagined I would have the
ability to become a nurse, it seemed so far out
of my reach! I had such amazing support from my family and am so thankful I made it through. I
couldn’t imagine a job I’d love more.
14.
Do
you leave work behind when you go home, and do you leave home behind when you
go to work?
When my mom went back to work
after having kids I often heard her say, “outta sight, outta mind” She was able
to flip from one to the other with such ease and would happily admit she
enjoyed her time away from the house. J and I are so lucky to be able to work
opposite of each other so we can cover our child care needs with the help of
our parents who are so generous with their time and energy. That definitely
makes it easier as we always know they are in good hands. I work a lot of
evenings and am able to come home for an hour on my break for a quick dinner or
a snuggle off to bed if I need to, just knowing that makes it easier.
I have a
harder time leaving work at work, we often deal with difficult situations that
can be emotionally and physically exhausting and it can be hard to turn it off
at the end of the day. I have found this more difficult after working there for
over three years as I have gotten to know some of the kids and their families
well, I really care for them and it’s hard to see and deal with them in crisis.
I often work evenings and am not home until midnight so I’m often alone with
time to think at the end of the day. I
am learning about mindfulness and meditation and that has been very important
for my own mental health!
15.
What
is the secret to surviving your schedule?
Sometimes I
can have up to 5 or 6 shifts in a row followed by 5 or 6 days off. I find this
balance is so important. I love spending my days off taking care of my family and
then when I go to work my family takes care of me. When J and I work opposite
each other we have a deal that when we get home from work the dishes are
washed, the baby is changed and dinner is ready before the other leaves. I
would not survive without him!
16.
Describe
a typical day in your life.
If J and I are both working, I
get up at 6:15 to be at work for 7:20, I work until 3:45 and can usually get
home by 4:15. Alex and Tiva are often walking in the door at the same time as
me. We usually have an early dinner so J can leave for work by 5:30. I finish
dinner with the kids, clean up and then play for a bit before bath and bed
which can take at least 2 hours most days before all four kids are quiet and
settled. After all the kids are asleep I
like to listen to music and clean the house up. I love waking up to a clean
kitchen and a fresh start, it usually only lasts for about 8 minutes the next
day and then everything starts over again.
Days off are always different, I
always have to work hard to balance the demands of being the matron of the
house. Grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning take up a majority of our time on
days off. We also love having home school days with the kids and family dinners
are a priority. This month we’re planning a day trip to Narcisse for a picnic
and some snake watching. Those are the kinds of days I love the most.
There’s also the driving to
hockey, dance, track, gymnastics or any other extracurricular activities. That
takes up some part of most days as well!
17.
How and when do you rest or take breaks?
I have come to love my breaks on
evening shifts. I used to work a lot of evenings so I could race home on my
break and nurse the baby and put them to bed before rushing back to work. Now
that the kids are older I often stay at work and find a quiet spot to read a
book. I have come to really look forward to those breaks.
The best break of all though is
on Saturday mornings when Izzy has gymnastics, J and I take turns sleeping in while the other
one takes the kids out for the morning. It is amazing how a little self care
can go such a long way!
18.
Do
you and your partner ever get time together, outside of the busyness?
We have things
pretty scheduled and coordinated so that we can spend some uninterrupted time
together most evenings after the kids are in bed. We always have so much to
talk about at the end of the day, it’s hard to have a conversation with so many
kids around! We make sure to schedule date nights as often as possible and that
is getting easier as the kids get older.
We both really love music and go to as many shows as we can, we recently
saw Neil Young and Dianna Krall, Buffy St Marie, Sharon Jones and the Dap kings
and most recently Lady gaga! We both find it so important to take the time to
connect and spend some time one on one.
19.
If
you could pause your work and family life and have a month to yourself with a
big stack of money, how would you spend it?
The easiest question! I always
dream of going travelling with our kids, there are so many places I would love
to experience with them. We would home school with experiences and adventures,
travel around central and south America and probably spend a lot of time
playing on the beach and eating fresh mangos. I would also make sure that I
didn’t have to wash any dishes!
20.
You
spend all your time caring for others, at home or at work. Who takes care of
you, or how do you take care of yourself?
Self care is
so important to me, it’s also the easiest thing to let slide when life gets
busy. I do my best to ensure that I run as often as possible, practice yoga and
meditate, ride my bike or walk to work, go for a massage once a month and
always have a good book to read.
