Lucy on Racism

Lucy was one of my mom's best friends. I can't imagine who my mom would have been had she never met Lucy and the rest of the Roseau community, with all the laughing, learning and healing that happened there. I wanted to ask Lucy 100 questions, and maybe I still will. I'm thankful for these 20, and all of the layers of gems that are tucked into her thoughtful and unassuming responses. I hope a million people read this. Megwetch Lucy! 

1.      Tell me three things about yourself.

-          I don’t know my own language --  Anishinabe, (sad face)

-          I don’t like bullies.

-          I love to challenge myself and am sooo disappointed in myself if i back down.

2.      If you don’t mind, can you introduce yourself as a First Nations woman? (name, clan, etc)

Beedasheek ndizhnikaaz                             - My name is Beedasheek

Wabizee ndodaim                                           -My clan is the swan.

Ojibway Anishinaabeikwe indow                    -I am an Ojibway woman

3.      Who are your kids? 

Son #1  Zongiday’a   translates to Strong heart.   He had an English name for a month “Sandy”,  named after his great grandfather, but the rebel in me decided to go with an Anishinabe name. 

Daughter#1 Jodee Brooke   My lovely daughter, who has such a sense of justice and equality, but in a quiet way, much like her grandmother, Marjorie.   It always amazes me how much time her and her husband Ben  spend taking their children to and from sporting activities.

Daughter#2 Anna Marie  My next lovely daughter, who usually does things in her life, career, education,  with others in mind and how her actions and decisions will impact them.  She was born at home, and it was actually because of her home birth that your mom interviewed me and thus started our friendship.

Daughter #3 Bawbeewahsheek   My tiny Bawbee, another home birth.  She has always been a fighter, for herself, her children,  she has a plan for herself and her little family and is slowly thinking of how she can put it in motion. She can read a 500 page book in one day!!

Son #2  Kirby Lewis  My youngest son, yet he is the tallest.  Kirby has his dad’s work ethic, certainly not mine, ..haha..he has a kind heart and his nieces and nephews love him to pieces.

4.      Do you have a funny story about one of your grandkids? 

(COULDNT CHOOSE BETWEEN THE THREE SETS OF GRANDCHILDREN SO ....)

- Edie, 4 yrs old, will use the cute card when asked to help out with chores, “I can’t ‘cause I’m too small” with her little head tilted to one side.

- Zhaawashko  – when he was around 6, his mom left him in the running vehicle while she ran inside to pay for gas.  He unbuckled himself and shut off the vehicle, When Anna got back in, she asked if he turned it off, Z said “you’re going to kill all the trees, DONT you want the birds to have homes!” 

-Landon  When he was around 4 yrs old, his mom couldn’t understand what he would try to say or ask for.  His older sister, Brooklyn,  became his little interpreter.  Bawbee would just ask Brooklyn “What does he want?”  Brooklyn would reply,  “  Wait,....Okay he wants...”

5.      Tell me about your mother – what was she like?

My mom bore 11 children, but she lost 2 infant sons shortly after their birth.  She was married to my dad for 49 years. 

My mom was shorter than me, and I always remembered her as being slim  for most of her life.  She worked so hard to feed and clothe all 9 of her children.  One story that she told that stands out for me and demonstrates what it took to survive in that time was her having to store hay to feed the horses during the winter. What is significant about this is that she did it on her own, with a toddler and another baby playing on the side of the field, with the oldest child responsible for the youngest.    My dad had been hospitalized for years during that time for TB and would be gone for months at a time for treatment.  

I always found my mom to be very quiet and loved to read.  I know she loved all of us, but there always seem to be a sadness about her.  I don’t remember her ever saying she loved me until in my teen years.  I know now that her greatest joy was her children and eventually her grandchildren.

On a sad note, my mom struggled with alcohol,  while my dad stayed sober the whole time they raised us.  There was a lot of family violence and discord in my upbringing, balanced out with alot of laughter and great memories.   Was  her alcohol use her way of dealing with her own sad childhood I have often  wondered?

6.      Can you tell me a bit about your mother’s early life, and how she ended up in residential school?

Her mother died early in her life and her father had no choice, in that time, but to leave her and my aunt at the residential school.  Her father died a few years later, so the school became her home.

She had other sisters and one brother but she never spoke, to me anyway, about where they were during this time. 

7.      Do you have a sense of how residential school impacted your mother and what helped her survive? 

 Yes,  my mom and aunt had a place to sleep and eat.  Yes they did learn how to cook ,bake,  how to put in a garden, harvest and can fruit and vegetables, sew – all the skills that,  in that era, were important just to live day to day.

My mom passed away before she was able to tell her story of her experience at residential school.  She never got to tell of her and her sister's sexual, physical, emotional, spiritual and  pyschological abuse they had to endure while living there, at the hands of the priest and the nuns that were in charge of them.

My mom and my aunt ran away, when she was 16 years old and made their way to a reserve about 60 miles south. They would walk at night and slept and hid during the day so that they wouldnt be found.

  

During the time that they were in residential school, my mom had became the protector of her sister and I believe that is what kept her going until they ran away.

Surprisingly, her faith within the Roman Catholic church never wavered despite all that she had endured at the hands of the nuns and the priests at that institution. My mother was a very passive woman and I often wonder if this was as a result of her abuse, an acceptance of her past and her fate for the rest of her life.

8.      What did you learn from your mother about being a First Nations woman?

In the age I was growing up, there was no talk about being "Indian".  It was not spoken about, just that we did the best we could with what we had.   

I believe my parents saw what the disadvantages of being First Nation and did not want that hardship to fall on us.       My mom would often speak about how she was punished for communicating to others in her own language.  That is the main reason that they did not speak to us, their children, in our own language, even though they were both fluent

9.      What did you learn from your mother about dealing with racism? 

 We grew up in a Metis community, surrounded by white ranchers and went to a school 20 minutes away.  

My mom would sometimes make little comments about what she thought about our neighbors, and their comments she had overheard.   She gave me the impression that their words meant nothing to her, and she would go about her everyday life.  I learnt from her not to expect too much from others, and not to concern myself over what others thought of myself.

10.  What have you taught your own children about who they are, and dealing with racism? 

I would like to think that I taught them that they were equal and not to get caught up in the sterotypes that society thought they should be.  I always wanted them to be able to stand shoulder to shoulder with all people and I think that I accomplished that.

11.  You were a dear friend to my own mother, who was obviously white. What do you think she learned about white privilege, racism and acceptance from you?

I know that she loved the fact that we can find humour in almost anything and can see the good in almost any situation.  I think she saw that even though we may not have the best homes or vehicles, we are capable of finding a reason to smile everyday.

Your mother was accepted in this community so easily at a time when her heart was healing and she went looking for a safe place to release her grief.  This community and the people loved her dearly and still speak about her with so much love and respect.

12.  Can you give me a story of racism in your everyday life? (an example or situation you had to face)

Getting out of my car and walking into a store, the same time that someone else is.  They see me and then fish out their keys and make sure they vehicle is locked, twice.  I guess I am that suspicious looking....

13.  What helps you deal with other peoples’ fear or hatred?

Knowing about karma, just kidding. 

I don’t own their garbage and I can laugh about it at the time but then I stop and  wonder what happened to them to feel that way. 

My belief is that we all started off the same, we all came into this world on the same level, but as we grew,  things affect us and how we see others and the world around us.

14.  You are a social worker, can you tell me why you got into the field?

I always wanted to work in the helping field and work with others in making positive change in their lives.  All people have the desire to be happy and sometimes they just need a nudge in the right direction.

I think I was going through my own journey and liked what I read and saw and must of thought I would love to be a part of someones life in that way.

15.  How are the families you work with affected by racism? 

A lot of families i come in contact with are  at a place in their lives where this is not even an issue, getting food on the table for your children is a greater concern, dealing with addictions, alcohol, drugs or gambling is a greater one.

Indirectly, the whole community is shortchanged when it comes to education and  housing and even to the way that child welfare is funded.   

16.  When you think about your work, where do you look for and find hope? 

I pray every day, before I leave for my job –for guidance, for strength, for the work that I will do that day.  I pray for the families that I work with. My biggest hope is that they see what they need to change in their lives to give their children the best childhood they deserve.  I always look to the day where all children are safe and nurtured in healthy homes. 

17.  When you think about First Nations people in Canada, where do you see hope? 

Our youth --we have some amazing young people getting educated, getting back to their original teachings, learning who they are and moving forward from that place. 

That is how I see we are going to get out of this dark place so many of our communities are finding themselves in.

18.  You know that I have a First Nations son, what advice do you have for me as a white person, as I raise him?

Teach him that he is equal, not better, not less, than his peers.  Always give him the opportunity to learn about his history and don't hold or keep that from him , because there will come a time in his life where he will begin to ask questions.   Support him in his search and love him to pieces.

19.  What can white people be doing in general to create more love and less fear when it comes to healing some of the pain we have caused to First Nations people in Canada?

Educate themselves.   Be more understanding.  

Society needs to see the connection between what these schools took away from a proud people, their children, and why there is so much hurt in those survivors today.  This school system lasted several generations and its going to take several generations to undo the damage from self, family and community.

20.   Any closing thoughts? 

I am alive.  I have so many good friends... all different colours.  I have a great family. I am blessed and I am happy.