Beth on Giving Birth

1 - Tell me three things about yourself, other than having given birth.  

Cooking is a favorite time in my day. 

I always knew I would move out of Winnipeg, I never thought it would be to Saskatoon though.  

I'm very short. Most people comment on it.

2- When was your baby born? 

May 17th 2012

3 - What is her name and what is she like? 

Sadie Grace
She is happy, full of love, inquisitive, brave, and oh so precious.

4 - Have you always wanted to grow a baby? 

Oh yeah. My favorite game when I was a child was to put a couch cushion under my shirt and play pregnant. Truthfully, that game continued to be a favorite, even into my adulthood. I mastered the baby bump by folding up clothes and tucking them under my shirt. I would imagine what it would be like to move with a baby growing inside me and how the baby would feel kicking around inside me. So yes. A long time dream.

5 - How did you feel when you found out you were pregnant? 

Strangely, I knew the night she was conceived.  It was a knowing feeling that came over me. I welcomed my baby and promised I would always be there for it. When I took a pregnancy test 2 weeks later, just for kicks, it was positive. My mind quickly made its way through all the changes that would happen in my life. From lose of freedom, to sharing my life with a child of my own. All in all, I was very excited about growing a baby and eventually raising a child.

6 - How much did you know about your pregnancy and birth before this little one came along? 

Quite a bit. I took an early interest in pregnancy and birth and would quite often read on the subject. In 2004 I took a doula training course and ended up volunteering at a house for young pregnant women.

7 - How was your pregnancy? 

A breeze. I had a few funny food aversions in the first few months -no root vegetables, quinoa, or left overs. I stayed active and practiced yoga every day. I spent a lot if time trying to connect with my baby.  Towards the last few months though, I did need to stop work earlier than I had anticipated. My job had me on my feet for hours at a time and pelvic and leg pain became too much. So I took maternity leave early, and enjoyed my last 2 months of pregnancy taking care of myself and nesting.

8 - What were some of your assumptions about birth before having done it? 

My biggest one was about the medicalization of childbirth. I believed all women have the power to deliver a baby without medical intervention.

9 - How did you prepare for Sadie's birth? 

Yoga and reading. I wanted to be as educated and as stretchy as I could be to help get this baby out!

10 - What did you imagine her birth would be like? 

With the house full of scented candles and birthing oils burning, I would labor at home as long as possible and then when birth was imminent we'd head for the hospital. Ideally it would have been a midwife-attended home birth, but there are a shockingly low number of practicing midwives working in Saskatoon and there was no chance of getting one. Upon arriving at the hospital, Sadie was to slip out into the world while I put into action all the preparation I had been working on.  A favorite cd would be playing, and Sadie would be handed to me.  Voila!

11 - Tell me about your labor, if you don't mind.  

My labor started with my water breaking at 6:30 am on Wednesday May 16th. I started having mild contractions by 11:30 am. An hour later I was unable to speak through my contractions and they were less than 30 seconds apart. So, here we go, I thought. Our doula came over by 1:00 and it appeared to us all that this baby wanted out fast!  So we blew out all the candles and made the grueling drive to the hospital. I sat doubled over the back seat while our doula got me through 7 very intense contractions in the car. Upon arrival I was assessed at 10 centimeters dilated and 100 percent effaced. Thank goodness!  My doctor was called while I began trying comfort measures and coming to terms with the pain I was experiencing. When my doctor arrived, she assessed me and dropped the bomb on us that I was actually only 3 cms dilated. Tricky cervix, we were told! The urge to push had already begun for me. And I wasn't supposed to push! Way easier said than done!  So we hunkered down and let the old girl open up at her leisure. While in the tub unable to speak or move, I kept thinking, where are these heaven sent breaks between contractions that I've heard so much about?!  I wasn't getting them. Sadie was turned around so her back was to my back. This position makes for a difficult and uncomfortable labor, to say the least!  So with each peak of a contraction, I tried my hardest not to push. And while the contraction became less intense, before it completely subsided, it would spike to peaking, and we were right back grunt pushing.
So that lasted 8 hours. In that 8 hours I was given 2 more incorrect assessments of 10 cms and ready!  Only to be royally let down by my doctor upon her unnecessary arrival.
With every false assessment, the word epidural kept appearing in my mind’s eye. My partner, who blew me away with his support and was my rock through the entire process, helped me through those times, knowing my strong desire to have a natural birth. The last time I was incorrectly assessed, I decided to have the epidural. I was pushing so hard at this point that I was starting to do damage.
So at 8:45 Wednesday night, my epidural kicked in, and my labor was much different. I was able to walk around, do yoga poses and my visualizations. Ultimately, I ended up having the birth I had been preparing for. I never pushed my epidural button again. I felt every contraction as they came on stronger.  I enjoyed my breaks between them (and yes, they are heavenly!). And when the time came to push Sadie Grace into our arms, I felt every crazy push. Sadie joined us on the outside at 4:37 am on Thursday May the 17th. It was a beautiful day.

12 -When did you know it was over? 

It happened very fast. The last big push brought Sadie slipping out and very quickly was handed to me. All the effort and pain was suddenly over, and I was kissing Sadie's little gooey head.

13 - If possible can you describe what it was like to lay your eyes on her for the first time?

It was kind of like " of course this is you". It just made sense to see her.

14 - What surprised you the most about giving birth to Sadie? 

Acceptance.  Going through the first half and accepting that this is the way my labor is going, and my ability to accept the intervention that was necessary to progress as effectively as we did.

15 - What are you most proud of about your birthing experience? 

My strength. Physically and emotionally.

16 - Is there anything you wish you had known before the whole process? 

Not really. I knew the possibility of a difficult labor existed but I was certain I was not going to need any interventions. I'm happy I know now that having the epidural did not make me feel any less of a strong woman and I’m happy I gave it my all before and after the epidural.

17 - How has giving birth impacted you as a woman? 

I now know the true strength of a woman.  This has taken my strengths to another level that I didn't think possible.
I feel a strong connection to other women.  The strength all women posses, mind and body, is remarkable. I truly believe women are very special.

18 - If Sadie ever has a baby of her own, what wish do you have for her birth? 

That she will understand and listen to her body. That she has whatever birth her and her baby go through, and they both come out happy, healthy, and full of life.
(And that she wants me to be there :))