Peter on Mindfulness

1 – Tell me three things about yourself aside from practicing mindfulness.  

Most days I feel a powerful combination of being incredibly blessed, fortunate, and burdened.  

I am deathly afraid of Fear - have fun with that all you Analyst types out there!?!  

And lastly, I’m hopelessly “OVER THE MOON” for my daughterS; not to worry though, … it’s held in Awareness <wink>.      

2 – What is mindfulness?  

As I understand it, simply, moment-to-moment nonjudgmental Awareness.  Non-judging, Patience, Beginner’s Mind, Trust, Non-Striving, Acceptance, and Letting Go are the Attitudinal Foundations.  

   

3 – When and how did you first hear about it, and what was your first impression?  

As a formal  concept, ‘Mindfulness’ came to me in my early years as a Practicing Nurse in Child and Adolescent Psychiatry; i.e.,  part and parcel of a ’ Skill’ set taught in  Dialectical Behavioural Therapy with the end thought to be an enhanced  ability to act more Wisely amidst swirling emotion and challenging circumstance .  Informally; however, ‘Mindfulness’ spoke to me as a young Asian boy with a bad bowl-cut who was enamoured with Eastern and Zen Warrior Archetypes –vanquishing all comers deftly, dispassionately, and for the greater good … it’s remarkable when I think about how powerful and lasting early impressions can be … hmmmm, something to be mindful of <wink>.  

        

4 – What do you love most about mindfulness?  

Everything!

5 – What do you find difficult about mindfulness?  

Everything!  In a nutshell, for me anyway, practicing Mindfulness is a lot counterculture and a bit Political protest.  Finding the time for Human BEING amidst a whole lot of Human DOING is, at times, ridiculously  challenging; the payoff; however, is that it makes everything SO much more vivid, more full, and even … Surprising.  Simple often becomes sublime; the distressing less prominent; and the sometimes bothersome notions of ‘Me’ and ‘I’ becomes less so – they get to take an oft-needed break!?!   Immersion in the moment – as fleeting as it tends to be - is rich, revealing, and liberating.  And really, it’s as simple as, I (blessed as I am) LOVE life, and so, it makes perfect sense to me, to want to BE there FOR and IN as FULLY as I can possibly be.  It’s as someone much cleverer than I once very succinctly said, “We have only Moments to Live”.  And so, if Being and ‘Awarenessing’ can be cultivated … sign me UP!!!  So, I suppose I don’t want to miss a thing! And Jesus, I’m talking in song now!?! J               

6 – What do you do for work and how does mindfulness fit in?  

I am a psychotherapist with Children and Families in the context of a medical event or illness; I am a nurse; and I am a facilitator of: Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and clinical nursing education. 

Overall, Mindfulness adds to my sensitivity, my courage, and my equanimity.  It also takes some of the pressure off in that I just Trust more.  Judgement, the headwork, an agenda, notions of structure and ‘how things ought to go and what I ought to do.’ (which are all still valuable by-the-way) all ease up just a little, which makes space for things like creativity, like potential, like more ‘real’ seeing, and like all of the vast resources perpetually available in any shared moment.  It’s been a revelation and likely, my neuroses feel a little more neglected these days.  Also, the odd meditation with clients is a hoot too!?!  The Joy of discovery and all! 

7 – Tell me about your family. How does mindfulness fit in with family life?  

A fab pair of sisters along with their growing families, a wonderful wife, and two luminous daughters (Bethany aged 3 and Rosalyn is 8weeks-old as of two days ago).  A mythical mother who died unexpectedly and a father whom I understand and empathize with just a little bit more each day. 

And with mindfulness, it’s simple really, I’m more Present for and to those whom I love and care about. And, I’d like to think it’s a little contagious.  It often feels that way.       

8 – How does mindfulness fit into your life as an athlete/adventurer?  

Seemingly organically, it’s seeped into how I choose to ‘Re-Create’ myself (Thank-you to a lovely mentor – Dawn Macdonald – for the perfect play on words).  Nature and pursuits that demand my focused attention - lest their sometimes be painful consequences - ; be it the Martial Arts or the various disciplines of Adventure Racing (Trekking and Orienteering, Mountain-Biking, and Canoeing), what’s always being reinforced at the heart of the matter, is ‘paying attention’: to breath, to self, to other, to surroundings, to circumstance, and to process – and then more reflexively acting from a discerning and skilful place; that is, where skill and quicker discernment flow fundamentally from practice (and ‘The Practice’) over time.  And mindfulness does, for the obvious reasons, lend itself quite nicely to both Nature’s grandness and combat sports.  It’s just somehow easier to pay attention to either a fist flying at your face or a sunrise over the lake.  

It’s interesting to me though, as I reflect on this, what’s obvious is that a mindful path does not easily lend itself to compartmentalization ... whether it’s recreation, how I participate in therapy, or how I am in relation with loved ones, it’s all the same: action rooted in a particular kind of Awareness … it’s Big and Loving and, for the most part, thankfully, waaaaay beyond my comprehension (i.e., so I don’t get so caught up in a pretty well-worn reflex of chasing understanding).  And something that has been especially helpful for me of late, is how mindfulness allows for a kind of playfulness with and honouring of both ambition/ competitiveness and forgiveness/ non-judgement.  So, as much as I have become accustomed to (and comfortable with) facilitating for and journeying with others, I don’t have to deny myself the odd victory lap when and if it comes my way.  Ego is apparently not inherently bad; and thus, back to balance.  So, I suppose, mindfulness, in all realms, pushes me towards allowing for a greater wholeness in terms of the entire gambit of living and experiencing.  Perhaps, less ‘good’ or ‘bad’, just whatever impulse is there and how might I, in this moment, play with and honour that?   

9 – What part of your childhood, if any, nurtured or prepared you for a mindfulness practice now?  

I am aware of my not-knowing the answer to this question.  Perhaps it will come …

10 – When do you practice mindfulness? 

When I lock eyes with my daughters.

Also, (and WAY secondarily!?!) both when it’s penciled in and whenever it occurs to me! 

11 – What gets in the way of practicing mindfulness?  

An 8-week old!?!  Seriously, chronic sleep deprivation SUCKS. … you see, contrary to popular belief, mindfulness ain’t  just a ‘Bliss Train’!?! … it’s just life, warts and hardship and all.  J  What changes; however, is how one enters and then relates to that hardship. 

12 – How would your life be different today if mindfulness had never come across your path?  

<SHUDDER!>  

13 – Do kids practice mindfulness naturally? How?  

They don’t Practice Mindfulness, they Embody it.  Younger kids especially, are so unfettered and without pre-conception; so close to Joy and Curiousity; there is a quality of Union with their Experience.  And, it is beautifully compelling, a little tragic, and a whole lot instructive. For example, a sometimes painful revelation is that I’ve spent parts of the last 12 years playing with a Tai Chi Practice so that I might reasonably resemble breathing and holding my hands like my daughters’ still naturally and unthinkingly do.  What’s hopeful though is that they remind me that Ease (without tension) and Depth (belly breathing, i.e., utilizing one’s full capacity) and Unbridledness are our birthright.  Practice, practice, practice … so as to, in many ways, remove constraints and return once more to our ‘True’ Nature.      

14 – We live in a time of constant stimulation, where we are always on the go. How relevant is mindfulness in western culture today?  

Me thinks the answer to that question is within your very mindful question. 

15 - What is the first step to practicing mindfulness for someone who feels they don’t have time?  

You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes every day - unless you're too busy;
then you should sit for an hour.  ~ Old Zen adage

If the Practice resonates with you at all – just Sit and Breathe and Observe …and sit some more of course, … and then, everything else, seems to follow.  Sounds trite no?  But, this was and continues to in fact, be my experience.  Trust.  And discipline I suppose is helpful too.    

16 – Does mindfulness contribute to physical wellness? How?  

Reconnecting with the breath first and foremost, and then the foot-fall, and then with progressive extension and contraction, exertion and relaxation; from this, awareness of an integrated and not a discrete body comes.  Thoughts, feelings, and the sensations of movement are more deeply experienced together, each affecting the other – amplifying, dampening, and all points in between.  And it’s this greater awareness of one’s body that then seems to gives way to impetus and appreciation and wisdom.  The impetus, in terms of a (re)discovered need to express one’s physicality; appreciation, in terms of what one can or might do (limits and all); and finally, a deepening wisdom in terms of a nagging pull towards really coming to know – or again, remembering – just exactly how to take care of one’s particular body. And why shouldn’t this be the case, as the vehicle for mindful living is nothing if it’s not the body (… and the mind … and the spirit … and everything else really <wink>).    

17 – Is having a mindfulness practice a luxury for those who have resources and time on their hands? Or is it for everyone?  

My gut response - call it Peter’s take on the Dharma:  suffering is universal; mindfulness, as remedy, is universal also.  We all have some capacity to pay more attention.  And moreover, we all are and are all deserving of that kind of love.  ‘The Practice’ – and please do forgive the vagueness – extends in all directions.      

18 – How has mindfulness surprised you recently?  

I’m becoming more acquainted with my ‘Shadow-side’.   

19 – Who has been most supportive of this path into mindfulness? 

My wife Linda: a gem of a Human Being and an even better Teammate.  But, in terms of Mindfulness, she sees me in ways I cannot yet entirely see myself which then strengthens my resolve to continue to choose to: Trust, Let Go, Accept, and Not Know.  And an aside, it’s MIND-blowing really, when I get a sense of how deeply I am Loved.  

20 – At the end of your life, how might mindfulness have made a difference for you?  

I will have been more IN my life than not; it would be more real, less illusory; and I will have been more Courageous - Courageous in connecting, being authentic, and being true to what sometimes feels like a fluid calling.  And I do Trust that in retrospect, it will make sense and that it will have been Good.