Bailey on Losing her Faith

It takes courage to sit with uncertainty. It also takes courage to be interviewed about uncertainty. I'm thankful to Bailey for her straight-up, refreshing honesty.

Tell me three things about you.

I am a reader, a lindyhopper, and a warm-weather person.

Who is in your family?

Our little family is myself, my husband, our grown son, and a dog.

How would the people that love you the most describe you?

Thoughtful, organized, caring, committed, loyal.

Can you define, from your perspective, faith?

Faith is confidence in something, and in this context it is a belief and confidence in God – his existence and his involvement.

How did faith play a role in your upbringing?

My childhood family was religious, but faith was not a part of our home life. We were taught the religious rules and it was expected that we would follow them. It was rather like a cultural norm.

Can you remember when you first found your faith?

Church was a regular part of our lives when I was a child, but faith became personally important to me in stages. As a teenager I had some good youth leaders and youth pastors, and my understanding of faith grew. After high school I went to Bible college for a year and for the first time lived with people who were serious about following God.

Describe yourself in a few words when you still had your faith.

I was earnest about following and pleasing God: I read & memorized scripture, prayed regularly, volunteered in the church & community, and read extensively about faith and theology.  Being a believer was serious, since my understanding of it required full surrender of one’s will, but it was worthwhile because it was a relationship with the source of love and power and holiness. When I had faith, it was the most central part of my identity.

Describe your perception of the world around you when you had your faith.

My church background is evangelical, so we were taught to “spread the good news.”  This made the world a tricky place, especially in suburbia where people are generally happy with their lives and do not want to hear about sin or contemplate the kind of changes required to be devoted to God.  We believed that the world was a separate place from the church, and it was in need of redemption.

Can you speak to what led to you losing your faith?  Is there a way that you can describe the process of losing your faith?

I do not understand the cause; I only know that the constant presence of God that had been with me for as long as I could remember was no longer there. The relationship that made the sacrifices of faithful living worthwhile was gone. What I had believed to be true no longer was. It was not possible for me to believe in God if I could not discern his presence.

What was important or helpful during that transition?

My husband was loving & accepting and was less freaked out than I was, even though he continued in faith. I had one other friend who could accept the gravity of the loss and was not afraid to talk about it, which was deeply appreciated (thanks W!).

Also important was reading accounts of others who experienced silence from God, such as Mother Teresa and Saint Terese of Liseux (Catholics seem more inclined to admit to experiencing a dark night of the soul).

What was painful about it?

Faith had been the central part of my identity, so the most painful part was not knowing who I was or why I was here. I had to grapple with what my life’s purpose was if it wasn’t to worship & glorify God.

Another crippling thing was the loneliness from the loss of the relationship with God and his constant presence. I was accustomed to ‘conversing’ with God throughout my day, turning to him in joy or in pain; this was gone, and I felt hollow and alone and foolish.

It was also painful to lose friendships that were based on faith and on church, as nearly all my friendships were. My social life dried up.

I sought help and advice from my pastors but was told they had no exposure to this issue and therefore they were of little help. It was discouraging and I felt that I was being labelled as a freak.

How did you know that you had lost your faith?

I wasn’t willing anymore to make choices based on obedience to God, because I didn’t believe he was real. It was kind of a Santa Claus situation, but with more far-reaching implications.

How does the world look different having lost your faith?

I am perhaps now more in sync with the wider world, since my life does not revolve around a deity. I feel less conflicted about what I do and how I spend my time. I am more open-minded, but also more willing to express hatred or violence.

Church looks very different - mostly it looks like an absurd waste of time; occasionally it is something that I wish I could still be part of. 

Are there benefits for you now, having lost your faith?

As I mentioned, I generally feel less conflicted about my actions and thoughts, since the concern to please/follow God is gone. Also: I get to sleep in on Sunday mornings!

What is more difficult now?

Not having a meta-purpose to life is hard to get used to. The loss of God’s presence and the purpose it gave me started a landslide of depression.

Spending time with religious friends and family is much more difficult – I see them as both deluded & fortunate.

How would you describe yourself in a few words, as a person who has lost her faith?

I am still unsettled: alternately appalled by the waste of time & energy on faith for so many years, and wishful for the ability to return to relationship with God.

What brings you peace? Joy?

I can find peace in the embrace of someone who loves me. Peace is sometimes in a warm bed when I don’t have to get up yet, or in the muted colors of gliding on a tiny river in a kayak.  There is joy in great music and good dancing. There is joy in a good story and in wonderful writing and unexpected perfect phrases in books. Receiving real mail brings joy too.

Have your fears changed since losing your faith?

Yes, I’m afraid of not figuring out what my life is for, and of spiraling into a deeper depression of unmotivation.  I’m also afraid of losing more relationships if folks don’t want to be close friends with a non-believer; this causes me to downplay my doubts and just not talk about the issue at all.

At the end of your life, what difference will it have made, to have at one point lost your faith?

I cannot see the future, but I imagine that the change in my life related to not being a church-person anymore is quite large. I have more time for other interests and other people (but I don’t have the skills to fit in to the social scene outside of church).

There is still a flicker of hope in me that God’s presence will someday return, or I will find a way to have faith without it. If that does happen, this dark time may help me better understand other doubters.

Lucy on Racism

Lucy was one of my mom's best friends. I can't imagine who my mom would have been had she never met Lucy and the rest of the Roseau community, with all the laughing, learning and healing that happened there. I wanted to ask Lucy 100 questions, and maybe I still will. I'm thankful for these 20, and all of the layers of gems that are tucked into her thoughtful and unassuming responses. I hope a million people read this. Megwetch Lucy! 

1.      Tell me three things about yourself.

-          I don’t know my own language --  Anishinabe, (sad face)

-          I don’t like bullies.

-          I love to challenge myself and am sooo disappointed in myself if i back down.

2.      If you don’t mind, can you introduce yourself as a First Nations woman? (name, clan, etc)

Beedasheek ndizhnikaaz                             - My name is Beedasheek

Wabizee ndodaim                                           -My clan is the swan.

Ojibway Anishinaabeikwe indow                    -I am an Ojibway woman

3.      Who are your kids? 

Son #1  Zongiday’a   translates to Strong heart.   He had an English name for a month “Sandy”,  named after his great grandfather, but the rebel in me decided to go with an Anishinabe name. 

Daughter#1 Jodee Brooke   My lovely daughter, who has such a sense of justice and equality, but in a quiet way, much like her grandmother, Marjorie.   It always amazes me how much time her and her husband Ben  spend taking their children to and from sporting activities.

Daughter#2 Anna Marie  My next lovely daughter, who usually does things in her life, career, education,  with others in mind and how her actions and decisions will impact them.  She was born at home, and it was actually because of her home birth that your mom interviewed me and thus started our friendship.

Daughter #3 Bawbeewahsheek   My tiny Bawbee, another home birth.  She has always been a fighter, for herself, her children,  she has a plan for herself and her little family and is slowly thinking of how she can put it in motion. She can read a 500 page book in one day!!

Son #2  Kirby Lewis  My youngest son, yet he is the tallest.  Kirby has his dad’s work ethic, certainly not mine, ..haha..he has a kind heart and his nieces and nephews love him to pieces.

4.      Do you have a funny story about one of your grandkids? 

(COULDNT CHOOSE BETWEEN THE THREE SETS OF GRANDCHILDREN SO ....)

- Edie, 4 yrs old, will use the cute card when asked to help out with chores, “I can’t ‘cause I’m too small” with her little head tilted to one side.

- Zhaawashko  – when he was around 6, his mom left him in the running vehicle while she ran inside to pay for gas.  He unbuckled himself and shut off the vehicle, When Anna got back in, she asked if he turned it off, Z said “you’re going to kill all the trees, DONT you want the birds to have homes!” 

-Landon  When he was around 4 yrs old, his mom couldn’t understand what he would try to say or ask for.  His older sister, Brooklyn,  became his little interpreter.  Bawbee would just ask Brooklyn “What does he want?”  Brooklyn would reply,  “  Wait,....Okay he wants...”

5.      Tell me about your mother – what was she like?

My mom bore 11 children, but she lost 2 infant sons shortly after their birth.  She was married to my dad for 49 years. 

My mom was shorter than me, and I always remembered her as being slim  for most of her life.  She worked so hard to feed and clothe all 9 of her children.  One story that she told that stands out for me and demonstrates what it took to survive in that time was her having to store hay to feed the horses during the winter. What is significant about this is that she did it on her own, with a toddler and another baby playing on the side of the field, with the oldest child responsible for the youngest.    My dad had been hospitalized for years during that time for TB and would be gone for months at a time for treatment.  

I always found my mom to be very quiet and loved to read.  I know she loved all of us, but there always seem to be a sadness about her.  I don’t remember her ever saying she loved me until in my teen years.  I know now that her greatest joy was her children and eventually her grandchildren.

On a sad note, my mom struggled with alcohol,  while my dad stayed sober the whole time they raised us.  There was a lot of family violence and discord in my upbringing, balanced out with alot of laughter and great memories.   Was  her alcohol use her way of dealing with her own sad childhood I have often  wondered?

6.      Can you tell me a bit about your mother’s early life, and how she ended up in residential school?

Her mother died early in her life and her father had no choice, in that time, but to leave her and my aunt at the residential school.  Her father died a few years later, so the school became her home.

She had other sisters and one brother but she never spoke, to me anyway, about where they were during this time. 

7.      Do you have a sense of how residential school impacted your mother and what helped her survive? 

 Yes,  my mom and aunt had a place to sleep and eat.  Yes they did learn how to cook ,bake,  how to put in a garden, harvest and can fruit and vegetables, sew – all the skills that,  in that era, were important just to live day to day.

My mom passed away before she was able to tell her story of her experience at residential school.  She never got to tell of her and her sister's sexual, physical, emotional, spiritual and  pyschological abuse they had to endure while living there, at the hands of the priest and the nuns that were in charge of them.

My mom and my aunt ran away, when she was 16 years old and made their way to a reserve about 60 miles south. They would walk at night and slept and hid during the day so that they wouldnt be found.

  

During the time that they were in residential school, my mom had became the protector of her sister and I believe that is what kept her going until they ran away.

Surprisingly, her faith within the Roman Catholic church never wavered despite all that she had endured at the hands of the nuns and the priests at that institution. My mother was a very passive woman and I often wonder if this was as a result of her abuse, an acceptance of her past and her fate for the rest of her life.

8.      What did you learn from your mother about being a First Nations woman?

In the age I was growing up, there was no talk about being "Indian".  It was not spoken about, just that we did the best we could with what we had.   

I believe my parents saw what the disadvantages of being First Nation and did not want that hardship to fall on us.       My mom would often speak about how she was punished for communicating to others in her own language.  That is the main reason that they did not speak to us, their children, in our own language, even though they were both fluent

9.      What did you learn from your mother about dealing with racism? 

 We grew up in a Metis community, surrounded by white ranchers and went to a school 20 minutes away.  

My mom would sometimes make little comments about what she thought about our neighbors, and their comments she had overheard.   She gave me the impression that their words meant nothing to her, and she would go about her everyday life.  I learnt from her not to expect too much from others, and not to concern myself over what others thought of myself.

10.  What have you taught your own children about who they are, and dealing with racism? 

I would like to think that I taught them that they were equal and not to get caught up in the sterotypes that society thought they should be.  I always wanted them to be able to stand shoulder to shoulder with all people and I think that I accomplished that.

11.  You were a dear friend to my own mother, who was obviously white. What do you think she learned about white privilege, racism and acceptance from you?

I know that she loved the fact that we can find humour in almost anything and can see the good in almost any situation.  I think she saw that even though we may not have the best homes or vehicles, we are capable of finding a reason to smile everyday.

Your mother was accepted in this community so easily at a time when her heart was healing and she went looking for a safe place to release her grief.  This community and the people loved her dearly and still speak about her with so much love and respect.

12.  Can you give me a story of racism in your everyday life? (an example or situation you had to face)

Getting out of my car and walking into a store, the same time that someone else is.  They see me and then fish out their keys and make sure they vehicle is locked, twice.  I guess I am that suspicious looking....

13.  What helps you deal with other peoples’ fear or hatred?

Knowing about karma, just kidding. 

I don’t own their garbage and I can laugh about it at the time but then I stop and  wonder what happened to them to feel that way. 

My belief is that we all started off the same, we all came into this world on the same level, but as we grew,  things affect us and how we see others and the world around us.

14.  You are a social worker, can you tell me why you got into the field?

I always wanted to work in the helping field and work with others in making positive change in their lives.  All people have the desire to be happy and sometimes they just need a nudge in the right direction.

I think I was going through my own journey and liked what I read and saw and must of thought I would love to be a part of someones life in that way.

15.  How are the families you work with affected by racism? 

A lot of families i come in contact with are  at a place in their lives where this is not even an issue, getting food on the table for your children is a greater concern, dealing with addictions, alcohol, drugs or gambling is a greater one.

Indirectly, the whole community is shortchanged when it comes to education and  housing and even to the way that child welfare is funded.   

16.  When you think about your work, where do you look for and find hope? 

I pray every day, before I leave for my job –for guidance, for strength, for the work that I will do that day.  I pray for the families that I work with. My biggest hope is that they see what they need to change in their lives to give their children the best childhood they deserve.  I always look to the day where all children are safe and nurtured in healthy homes. 

17.  When you think about First Nations people in Canada, where do you see hope? 

Our youth --we have some amazing young people getting educated, getting back to their original teachings, learning who they are and moving forward from that place. 

That is how I see we are going to get out of this dark place so many of our communities are finding themselves in.

18.  You know that I have a First Nations son, what advice do you have for me as a white person, as I raise him?

Teach him that he is equal, not better, not less, than his peers.  Always give him the opportunity to learn about his history and don't hold or keep that from him , because there will come a time in his life where he will begin to ask questions.   Support him in his search and love him to pieces.

19.  What can white people be doing in general to create more love and less fear when it comes to healing some of the pain we have caused to First Nations people in Canada?

Educate themselves.   Be more understanding.  

Society needs to see the connection between what these schools took away from a proud people, their children, and why there is so much hurt in those survivors today.  This school system lasted several generations and its going to take several generations to undo the damage from self, family and community.

20.   Any closing thoughts? 

I am alive.  I have so many good friends... all different colours.  I have a great family. I am blessed and I am happy. 

Sheldon on Adoption: The Sequel

The last time I interviewed Sheldon, he and his wife were anticipating adopting two girls from Ethiopia. Sadly, that plan fell through just weeks after Sheldon and I did the interview. Sheldon and his wife (and Eli!) must have the patience of saints, as once again they were back to waiting. Here's part of the beautiful and heroic story of how Eli came into their lives.

1. Tell me three more things about you!

• I’m the training manager at my current workplace. • I have only about 50% hearing in my right ear, and am completely deaf in my left ear. If you see me out and about, and are yelling at me, chances are I’m not ignoring you. • I love playing hockey and golf, but can’t really be bothered to actually practice most of the time. I need the competition aspect of it to keep my interested.
2. I understand you have become a dad since our last interview, who is your kid and how old is he now?
Our son’s name is Elijah, and he is almost 3 years old.
3. What’s he like?
As he has become more and more comfortable, Eli has begun acting more like we may generally expect a 2-3 year old born in Canada. He is generally a very happy, and very content boy. He seems to love his momma and daddy. He especially loves his Grandma’s and Grandpa’s. He does have his moments when he gets a little bossy, and a little cranky, but all in all, he has been an absolute blessing to us. It sounds so cliché, but it does feel like he has always been with us.
4. I remember you talking about two girls that you were waiting to adopt, do you mind speaking about how things changed?
You remember correctly regarding the fact that we were waiting to adopt the girls. The last time we talked was in mid October of 2012. On Halloween of 2012, we were informed that there was a very real possibility that our adoption of these girls would fall through. One month later, it became official, and in discussions between the adoption agencies, and ourselves, the decision was made that the girls would be re-unified with their birth family (not that we really had any choice in that matter, but it was decided by someone). We were devastated, but we again had a great support system which helped us through this incredibly difficult time. On February 1, 2013, exactly 2 months after we received that incredibly difficult news about the girls, we received a referral for a beautiful little almost 2 year old boy.
5. Can you tell me how you first heard about your future son?
On February 1, we received a call from our agency (Adoption Options) with the exiting news that we had a referral for a little boy. We had an inkling that something was up, due to some of the questions that we were being asked throughout the month of January, and we were ecstatic to receive a referral for this boy. Given our previous situation, we were just a bit more reserved about everything. We accepted as soon as we were able, and began preparing for life with one boy, instead of two girls.

6. When did you travel to Ethiopia to meet your son?
On May 10th, 2013, we left Winnipeg for a life changing journey to Ethiopia.

7. What was it like to set out on your journey across the world to meet him?
In most cases, the expectation is that a family adopting internationally from Ethiopia, would travel twice to Ethiopia. The first trip would be to attend court, and the 2nd trip would be the one where the adoptive family would be able to take custody of their child and then come home. The reason for this is the uncertainty of the amount of time between court and receiving a Visa to arrive back in Canada. Given the situation with the girls, we had the blessing of our agency (not usually recommended) to do everything in one trip. We had very understanding employers, and as we set off on this adventure, we did not know how long we would be gone. I had taken 4 months off, in the event that if there were delays, that I would have enough time, and Hilary was able to take a leave of absence as well. So when we left Canada on May 10th, we honestly didn’t know when we would be setting foot back in Canada again, and that was a scary proposition for us. As for the part about us journeying across the world to meet Elijah, it was an exciting adventure. Neither Hilary, nor I are travelers, and the whole thing felt a little out of control. That being said, we had had a number of years to prepare for this type of trip. We were ready for this experience in our minds. The “carrot” at the end of this journey was of course Eli, and we both couldn’t wait! Travelling to Ethiopia was both scary and exhilarating all at once. We had 3 flights from here to Ethiopia, and there many little issues as we began the journey. The flight from Toronto to Frankfurt, was frightfully hot, we almost missed the flight in Frankfurt, but hey, we could take it all in stride. This was going to be life changing!
8. Maybe a weird question, but did you feel connected to him before you met him? Was it scary to get your hopes up?
Given our situation before, and how we had fully invested ourselves into the girls, emotionally, it was very difficult to entirely connect ourselves to Eli until we were actually on our way to Ethiopia. I think that until we heard those words that officially made us his parents, we still struggled with attaching to Eli. When we met him after court, we jumped in totally. Even though the first few meetings didn’t necessarily go as well as we wanted (him running to us, and showing us his love right away), we started to feel that connection, and realized that this was our son, and we were his parents!
9. What was it like to finally meet your child after such a long wait?
It was a bit nerve wracking. We’d been dreaming of children for so long, we’d been praying for children for so long, we’d been dreaming and preparing Elijah for a few months. Finally, everything else was behind us. We met Eli on May 14. We had very strict rules about what we could or couldn’t do on this particular visit, so there wasn’t a lot interacting with Eli on an individual basis. He was/is a beautiful little boy, and it was obvious that he was loved in the orphanage, but we could also see some “sadness” in his eyes. We may not have actually seen it much then, but looking at those early pictures, compared to our boy now, it is amazing the difference.
10. When did you know that he was yours for forever?
On May 17th, we passed court. This was the final hurdle for Eli to become our son. Eli was ours. We went to visit immediately, and we got some one on one time with Eli that afternoon. While he wasn’t all that fond of us, we got him somewhat warmed up to us by the time we left. On May 20th, Eli’s 2nd birthday, he joined us for a van ride back to our guesthouse. We were finally a family of 3!
11. How long were you in Ethiopia? Do you think it was good for Eli to have you stay on his home turf for the first while?
We arrived in Ethiopia on May 11th, and arrived back in Winnipeg on June 28th, which is exactly 7 weeks if you’re keeping track at home. It was very good for Eli that we could spend our time together on his home turf for a period of time. While we didn’t do a lot touristy things in Ethiopia, we did spend some time walking around Addis, driving around with an excellent driver, and playing in our guesthouse courtyard. Eli had some favorite people in Ethiopia, and loved the guesthouse staff and always ran to them to see what they were up to, loved our driver, whom he still talks about by name on occasion, and loved chasing the guesthouse guard around the courtyard, and kicking the ball around. It was a little more comfortable for him, I think, to be able to get used to us in his own culture, and among people who looked more like him. It will have been a good experience for us as well, as it allows us to see what he may feel like later on in life. Being the people who looked different than almost everyone else was incredibly difficult, and intimidating for us, and it was always obvious to others that we probably didn’t belong. Don’t get me wrong, virtually everyone was friendly, and welcoming, but we also got taken advantage of in some situations where we probably wouldn’t have gotten a 2nd look had we been black.

12. What, pray tell, was the flight home like?
The flights home were uneventful for the most part. Due to the fact that we had to change our flights on short notice, we made the decision to fly directly from Addis to Toronto, and that was a great decision. The flight was very empty, and we had lots of room for ourselves. Eli didn’t seem too concerned about what was going on (although, I’m not sure he totally understood what flying is). Since we had so much room, we each were able to stretch out, and sleep, and I think we all got some good sleeps in during this flight. Again, due to the quick change of flights that we had had to do, we had a 12 or 14 hour layover in Toronto, so we gathered up all our luggage, and headed to a hotel to sleep for part of the wait, and also to swim a bit. This stretch was probably the most stressful of the trip, but it felt great to be back on Canadian soil. We were so close to being home. The flight home must have been so quick, cause I can’t even remember this part of the trip. Suddenly, we were back in Winnipeg, and we were preparing to go down the escalator to our waiting families. This is the part of the trip that I will always remember. We had so much support from our family and friends, and many of our closest friends and all of our family that could attend, were there. What a homecoming for us, but more importantly, for Eli.
13. What’s been the best part about having Eli at home with you?
I love Eli’s excitement and awe at little things. When he finishes a puzzle, or cleans up after himself going on the potty, his sense of accomplishment when he says “I did it”. Seeing a little guy learn like he has learned is amazing. I love coming home, and hearing “Daddy”.

14. What’s been hard about the transition / or even normal toddler stuff?
Some of the hard things are the hard things that everyone has to deal with. We are having to adjust our schedules around Eli. We can’t just up and leave whenever we want, like we were used to. After almost 12 years with no children, we got stuck in our routines, and it’s hard to break those routines at times. Eli has been an awesome kid, and is almost always a cheerful, energetic kid, but I’m not a young whipper snapper anymore, and I’m not always that energetic. Having to learn how to properly manage my time has been an adjustment to ensure that I have the energy for an almost 3 year old, and still have the energy to get things done has been a transition. When all is said and done, we have an awesome support system that has helped us learn to adjust to this new situation.

15. What does Eli love about living in Canada?
I’m not sure Eli loves the snow, but he is getting used to it. I’m not sure what things he loves about Canada at this point, but if I were to guess, it would be the frequent swimming dates with Momma, his trips to Grandma and Grandpa’s, his uncles, aunts, and cousins, Sunday School, Play Group, his stuffies, and of course Zeke (our dog). He also loves our vehicle, “Big Red”, and constantly talks about it. He will also talk about busses quite frequently.
16. What do you imagine or know he misses about Ethiopia?
I’m not sure what he all remembers from the orphanage at this point, but I believe again, that he misses what used to be normal to him. Like I said earlier, he still talks about Markos (our driver), and he often asks to see Markos on my phone. He also misses Isaac (a little boy that he met after he joined our family, but while we were staying Ethiopia). He has seen Isaac once since we’ve been back in Winnipeg, and he can’t wait to see him again.

17. What’s the most helpful thing someone did for you through the adoption process?
Again, the prevailing theme in this interview is our support system. We had so much help from our friends and family in getting through what was a long journey. The most helpful thing that people did for us would be support us through prayer, but also in those kind words. During the first week or two that we were home, we had friends organize meals for us, which was incredibly helpful.
18. What’s the best thing people say when they see the diversity in your family?
I feel like the diversity in our family has been accepted very well. One thing that we were very concerned with early on is the comments that people make about transracial families. We have again been blessed by the fact that these types of comments haven’t been said to us. Of course, this isn’t all that is involved when discussing diversity, but to me it is the most visible part of this equation. We spend some time talking about all the ways that we are the same, but also all the ways that we are different, which hopefully will give Eli confidence in himself, and his abilities. I also hope that we can be positive role models for others in a similar family situation.

19. Tell me how your life has been changed most profoundly?
As I said earlier, our lives have changed a great deal with what types of events we can do, and when we can do them, but we totally love our lives. Eli brings smiles to our faces when we might not really be in the mood to smile. Hilary and I are learning how to parent, and learning that even though we are always trying to do it right, there may be times when we screw up (I know, I know, I was surprised that I screw up sometimes too). Eli is always chattering away, and is soaking things up like a sponge. We are his primary teachers, in life, and with that comes great responsibility. We are enjoying that responsibility, and we hope that he will continue to soak it all up, and do great things as he grows older.
20. What is your biggest hope or wish for Eli as he grows up?
I want Eli to enjoy life and love the Lord. I really would love for him to enjoy sports, but we’ll see where his interests lie. I hope that he enjoys learning, and never stops. I hope our relationship to each other will be as strong as possible. I hope that Eli will have a love for his birth country (Ethiopia), and his adopted country (Canada).